Virtue of Vice
by Violetlight
Summary: While attending the Central Faire with Gluttony and Lust, Envy runs into someone she hasn't seen in a LONG time. Female!Envy/Greed lemon *with* plot! Ties into my other FMA stories.


**Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood**

"**Virtue of Vice"**

By Violetlight

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, in any of its incarnations. That pleasure belongs to Hiromu Arakawa and Square Enix. I am borrowing their universe and characters for entertainment purposes only.

Timeline: Approx. 20 years before _Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood_, 80 years after Greed abandons the other homunculi. It helps if you read the first chapter of my main FMA fic, "Wheels Within Wheels", and my other one shot, "Divine Comedy" before this one, to get a better sense of what's going on.

Author's Note: Well, my last one shot for my FMA series, "Divine Comedy", wasn't as well-received as I had hoped, by far, despite the effort I put into it. After long deliberation as to what the hell went wrong, I came to the conclusion that the main reason it failed was because of the point of view character, Greed.

I characterized Greed in that story to act like a typical guy, based on the opinions of typical guys (my fiancé, and one of my coworkers). The "male gaze" is the standard p.o.v. in the entertainment industry, so I didn't anticipate a problem. However, it turns out I failed to anticipate my main audience here at fanfiction . net, which, if most internet statistics are correct, consists mostly of young women. Since I chose a character type for my point of view that was in many ways the opposite of most of my audience, the story failed.

It actually ended up being an interesting lesson in rhetoric – know your audience, and cater to _them_. I'm just happy I learned this lesson in fan fiction, and not in any original works I would like to one day make some money off of. Also, it's actually a great plus to know that there _is _a form of media in which the female, not the male, point of view is what dominates. I should email my old prof from my literary gender studies class from back in university and let her know!

Anyway, this story is from a (mostly) female!Envy's point of view, one that should resonate more with my audience here at fanfiction . net. Let's see if this one goes better. If, for any reason, I screw up again, please let me know in a review or private message. Fan fiction is my training ground, my "practice" for my original fiction, so I really **need** to know what works and what doesn't.

A/N addition: Special thanks to my fiance, D4rkSilver, for drawing this amazing picture of Envy in her "jailbait" form! I used it as this story's icon, but the full version is available on DeviantArt - the link's on my profile page. Make sure to check it out if you want to see what Envy looks like for the majority of this story!

* * *

Envy stared down at Gluttony, who was currently in the middle of his favourite activity, and made a disgusted face. "Are you sure you should be letting him eat that, Lust?"

"You know Gluttony adores carnival food, and we've been too busy for the past few years to attend the Central Faire." Lust said. The three homunculi siblings were hidden in an "alleyway" between two large, circus-style tents, out of view of any human fairgoers.

"Since when did carnival food _include_ the carnies? Wait, stupid question. Forget I asked." Envy grimaced as a spatter of blood flew up from Gluttony's "meal" and hit it in the face. "Still, couldn't you just get him a few dozen gallons of cotton candy instead? Those guys are like a million times grosser than humans usually are."

"They taste like old feet ... and cabbages!" Gluttony added happily, then dove back into the rest of his meal.

"Yeah ... I'll take your word for it." Envy wiped the blood off its face with the back of its hand, then, absent-mindedly shrugged and licked the blood off its hand.

"Honestly Envy, this is coming from someone who still tries to catch bugs with its tongue when you think we're not looking." Lust crossed her arms. "Besides, it's not like we can get sick."

Envy gave its sister a sarcastic smile, and shot out its tongue like a chameleon's, spearing a fly that had previously been orbiting Gluttony's carnie. "Hey, I _am_ a reptile, what do you expect?" It made sure to audibly crunch the fly, causing Lust to frown. "And there's a first time for everything."

"Finished! That was so yummy!" Gluttony announced, licking the remaining blood off his hands with his huge tongue. "Can we find another one, Lust? Can we, can we?"

"Of course. After all, it is your birthday." Lust smiled maternally at their simple-minded little brother. "You don't turn eighty-seven every day."

"Yeah, Glut, soon you'll be joining the triple digits club, and then we can all tease Wrath together." Envy rubbed Gluttony's bald head affectionately. "Well, you two have fun. I'm going to go wander around by myself for a while. Just don't eat the guy running the Tilt-and-Hurl, okay?"

"I think it's the "Tilt-a-Whirl", and why not?" Lust asked.

"Believe me, it's the Tilt-and-Hurl, if all those brats running for the garbage cans after riding that thing are any indication." Envy laughed, giving its trademark, slasher grin. "Such an artist of pain and misery! He should be allowed to live for a bit longer. Anyway, I'll be in my 'jailbait' form if you need me." Envy then shapeshifted slightly, changing its hairstyle to a high, spiky green-black ponytail tied up with its headband, its bangs covering the alchemical nodes on its forehead. It extended its shirt over its midrift, and slightly lengthened its skort, going from plain black to a green and black swirled pattern. A set of black sneakers with green laces covered its normally-bare feet, completing the "outfit", making Envy appear more obviously like a teenage girl than usual.

"Going girl this time?" Lust noted.

"Hey, it works for you. And a thousand Cenz says I can get more idiot males to buy me stuff than you can by the end of the night."

"We'll see about that." Lust smiled wryly. "You're challenging the master, here."

"If you say so, Master Slutbag. Later." Envy waved back over her shoulder, and slid out from the alley without causing any undue attention, slipping into the crowd effortlessly.

Because of their steadily increasing missions for Father as the Promised Day drew closer – only a couple decades away now – it _had_ been a while since the homunculi had had any real "time off", so Gluttony's "birthday" falling on one of those rare days had been a pleasant surprise. (In a rare, unanimous decision, all the homunculi had agreed that "birthday" sounded better than "falling-off-Father-day"). Lust had insisted on taking him to the annual Central Faire. What had started as a brief fall harvest festival for the humans a couple decades back had evolved into a full-blown carnival, lasting five days. Envy actually did enjoy the celebration, after all, opportunities to cause trouble were practically around every corner. Envy saw one immediately, noticing a teenage boy staring at her as she walked past. She winked at him, and the predictably pathetic, lovesick look he gave her caused the expected reaction from his girlfriend, as she started yelling at him. Envy's grin widened – _humans are such idiots; it's always so hilarious, no matter how many times I see it._

Envy wandered through the fairgrounds lazily, passing the different attractions with increasing boredom. Stands selling stuff were mostly junk, though she did have fun asking the guy selling something called a "Sham Wow" how much blood it could absorb ("What do you say, one or two bodies worth?" "I ... um ..."). She ended up buying one for Gluttony as a birthday present – something he could use, a "napkin". Rides looked fun, but she was way over the weight limit for most of them, and watching humans who couldn't hold their stomachs on them got old, fast. She did make sure to wander just close enough to the farm animal exhibit to cause the various creatures within to start freaking out, and giggled to herself as their trainers tried to calm them down. It was a shame farm animals were otherwise so boring, just cows, pigs, sheep – so much like their owners it was uncanny. It's not like they had anything cool, like venomous snakes or crocodiles. The various shows also got boring fast. They always had the promise of humans getting seriously injured during high diving, or lion taming, or whatever, but rarely any payout.

She eventually wandered into the games section of the midway. Here was something she could do, but which one? Envy noticed a small crowd around a squirt gun game. Curious, she went to see what the fuss was about – maybe someone got hurt? She huffed in disappointment as she approached. It was just a couple of dumb kids, a little blonde girl, holding the squirt gun with a look of intense concentration on her face, and a slightly older, black haired boy, struggling to hold onto a pile of plushies.

"That's like her tenth win, it's amazing!" One of the people in the crowd exclaimed. Envy raised an eyebrow – the things that would impress humans.

"See Roy, that's how it's done!" the girl grinned in satisfaction, as the carnie running the booth awarded her with a plush husky dog.

"Geez Riza, how many more of these things are you going to win?" The boy complained.

"As many as I want, now stop complaining and hold my plushies, or I'll tell Dad you're being a jerk." She said, and added her newest prize to the top of the pile, to Roy's obvious dismay. Riza then grabbed Roy by the arm and dragged him away from the booth. "Let's go on the Tilt-a-Whirl next!"

Envy smiled as the girl dragged her little "boyfriend" away. _Believe me kid, if I could put you out of your misery without drawing too much attention, I would. _she thought. Causing trouble was so much more fun when she did so without drawing attention to _herself_, after all.

Getting bored again, Envy glanced around the midway for another game, when something perfect caught her eye. Across the way and a few booths up from the squirt gun game, there was a winter-themed booth advertizing something called "Whack-A-Seal", with a club shaped like a Briggs white bear, over a small game field shaped like an ice floe with holes in it for the mechanical seals to emerge from, which were all wearing Drachma-style hats. The object was to hit as many seals with your bear club as possible, a sadistically-fun game. What got Envy's attention, however, was the grand prize stretching from one side of the game booth to the other. It was a beautiful plushie serpentine dragon, glittering emerald-green with a silver underbelly, and shining purple eyes. Even though it was just a stupid toy, Envy wanted it. "That would look perfect in my room!"

The carnie running the booth noticed her interest, and gave a sleazy grin, showing off his blackened, gross teeth. "You like that beauty? Well, give it a shot, little lady! Just a thousand points to win!"

Not really listening, Envy handed over some money and happily began whacking seals, imagining them to be actual Drachmans, with her as the polar bear. "Die, seals! Die die die die die!" she cackled evilly. Now this was her kind of game!

After about half an hour, and almost five hundred Cenz later, Envy looked up at the carnie with a grin of satisfaction. "Alright, hand over the dragon."

The carnie grinned back, just as sleazily as before. "Sorry miss, but you only scored two hundred points."

"What? I whacked like a million of these things!"

"The scoreboard doesn't lie." Sure enough, it listed only about two hundred points. "Here, you can have this." The carnie reached down behind the booth, and pulled out a totally different plushie – a little, green, bug-eyed lizard. It only had four legs and no visible mouth, but still!

Envy held the toy by the end of its tail disdainfully. "Gee, thanks." She hissed sarcastically_, _and stomped away from the booth. "Cheating son of a bitch, that is so not funny. Now where did Lust and Gluttony take off to ... I think I found him the perfect 'snack'." She mumbled under her breath.

She half heard from across the way the usual banter from another game – a "Guess Your Age or Weight" game run by an old man who offered money to anyone who could fool him. Envy had considered it before, but dismissed it as too easy (though it would be funny to break his scale). However, it wasn't the old man's banter that got her attention, it was another, chillingly familiar voice, that said "okay old man, give it a shot."

"Age or weight, sir?"

"Age."

Envy's breath caught in her throat. Just a few feet away from her was that familiar handsome form – the smug shark-toothed grin, the spiky black hair, even his ever-present sunglasses. Eighty years had passed since he had left the other homunculi, _had left her_, but Greed looked the same as ever. Before he could turn around and recognize her (this form wasn't all that different from her Beautiful Self), Envy scurried half way around a fortune teller's tent.

_Idiot! What the hell is he doing here in Central? If Lust or Gluttony see him ... stupid Greed! You stupid lying cheating idiot! _Envy glared at her brother / "ex-boyfriend", her hands clenching into fists, hardly noticing when her own, sharpening nails dug into her palms. _How dare you show your face around here again! Your ... deliciously fuckable self... _Envy unconsciously licked her lips, then realized what she was doing. "Goddamnit Greed, I'm supposed to hate you!" She hissed quietly. She peeked out from behind the tent curiously.

The old man eyed Greed for a few minutes, then confidently answered. "Well, I'd say you're thiry-four, no, thirty-six at the most. Remember, I win if I'm right within five years."

Greed just laughed manically at the old man's answer, that evil, sexy laugh Envy remembered so well, the one he always made when he "won" at something, like their games of "see who comes first" ... _no! Don't think of that, Envy, you dumbass! Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, like... um... Gluttony in a speedo! Ew ew ew ew ... oh great, now mental-Greed's in a speedo! Thanks a lot, brain!_

Greed's voice snapped her out of an increasing mental panic. "Not even close, old man, now give me my money."

"Well, you have to show ID to prove your real age then." The rather stupid old carnie said smugly.

"Alright, fine, I've got your ID right here." Greed slid his Ultimate Shield up over his hand and tipped the old man's head up by the chin using one, diamond tipped claw. "Give me my money, and you get to keep your windpipe, got it?" His claw drew just a speck of blood.

Envy almost went wild with desire – nothing turned her on more than seeing Greed threaten someone! An idea started forming in her mind, of how she could get what she wanted _and_ punish the bastard for leaving her, her trademark slasher grin appearing on her face. Checking briefly to make sure nobody was looking, Envy started shapeshifting again, this time taking the form she called "Lust Lite" – a woman about twenty-five years old, with straight, bleach blonde hair, a tan instead of her usual, flawless pale skin, large, "innocent" blue eyes with sparkles of green and hazel in the irises, an almost comically large bust, her 'shoes' changed from sneakers to green high heels, and her outfit to a skimpy, short-skirted green dress (though long enough, of course, to hide her Ouroboros). She briefly turned the back of her hand into a reflective surface to check her appearance. Satisfied that this ditzy form was exactly the type Greed would go for, she changed her hand back, put an appropriately slutty look on her face, slung the green tote bag she had got with her Sham Wow and put her plushie in over her shoulder, and slinked out from behind the tent, just as Greed's threat earned him his reward.

"We ... we have a winner!" The old man squeaked out, handing Greed a stack of bills, far more than the game's usual winnings. The stupid carnie decided to push his luck, however, and sputtered out, "Just how old are you?"

"Oh, not that old, just one-hundred and eighty." Greed smirked while flipping through his money.

"One hundred and eighty, huh? My, my, you look good for your age." Envy said as she slinked over, the tone in her voice suggesting that she didn't take his statement seriously. Just the typical make-an-excuse-to-talk-to-him routine, as perfected by Lust.

It seemed Envy was a good student to her older sister, as it worked like a charm on Greed. He looked her up and down approvingly. "Why thank you. I do, don't I?" He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "Miss...?"

" ... Emily." Envy randomly thought of one of her usual aliases. All of them started with "E", and "Emily" sounded the most innocent.

It worked. "I'm Greg." Greed "introduced" himself.

"Why don't we find somewhere a little more private, and we can 'get to know each other'?" Envy suggested, not all that subtly – just the way Greed liked it.

Greed nodded knowingly. "Sounds like a good idea."

* * *

It took all of five minutes to find a supply tent, crates piled up to its ceiling, and to sneak in and to the back, to a rather convenient gap in the crates, just large enough for the both of them. Still in her "Lust Lite" form, Envy smiled coyly at Greed, and pushed him lightly up against a crate, kneeling down in front of him.

"How much do you want?" Greed growled reluctantly, unzipping his pants.

"We can discuss that afterwards." Envy replied, almost disappointed at how easy this act was. It didn't take a genius to figure out exactly what Greed liked to hear when it came to whores.

She gave the expected, slutty giggle as Greed exposed himself to her, and took him into her mouth, sucking gently at the head of his penis, licking lightly at the bottom of his shaft ... it seemed his tastes hadn't changed in the last eighty years. Hearing him suck in his breath, she slid her hand down his pants and cupped his balls, squeezing gently. Her other hand's fingers curled gently around the base of his penis, as she withdrew him from her mouth, asked, "Do you usually let women you just met suck you off?"

"Depends on the price." He said, grabbing the back of her head by her hair and pushing her back towards him.

Envy humoured him for a few more moments, twirling her tongue around him, before letting go again. "You know, it could be dangerous." She teased.

"I can take care of myself." Greed countered, and pushed her back.

"Oh really?" Envy managed to say, before he shoved himself back into her mouth. _Confident, aren't we? Dumbass. You really don't know who you're dealing with here, maybe it's time I showed you. _She reached up and grabbed Greed's wrists, pinning him to the crate wall, not that he cared, as he gasped in pleasure, feeling too good to see that anything was amiss. Envy lengthened her tongue, wrapping it _completely_ around his dick, then stretching out the tip of her tongue until she could lick his balls, sliding it up to the sensitive patch of skin just behind his scrotum and licking lightly. Greed almost lost his balance, gritting his teeth to keep from yelling out, until he stiffened, a sure sign he was starting to realize that something wasn't exactly _right. _Envy took the cue, and quickly withdrew her tongue back into her mouth, then let her teeth sharpen. Greed tried to push her away, but couldn't get her off him in time for her piranha-like teeth to keep from biting down!

"OW! HOLY FUCK YOU SKANK!" He screamed, clutching his bleeding crotch where Envy had bit his dick off. Red alchemical sparks crackled around him as he regenerated, and he glared up at the now-familiar face of his "partner" as she took her usual form.

Envy spat out the ash from Greed's dissolved member, and licked his blood from her lips. "It's been a while, but you taste as good as ever, Greed." She smirked.

"I should have known it was you, Ugly." Greed said. Surprisingly, he didn't sound angry, more amused. "Only one thing in the world gives blowjobs like that."

"_Thing?_" Envy pounced on Greed, pushing him to the ground beneath her. "Now is that any way to address your ex?"

"Ex what? Seems you haven't given me up just yet." Greed reached up and pulled Envy down on top of him for a kiss, pressing his lips against hers, their tongues dancing together, until Envy felt him try to flip her over onto her back.

She didn't let him, settling part of her considerable weight down upon him instead, pinning him in place. She pulled away from his kiss. "You left me, bastard. You just up and left, when I needed you the most, no explanation, not even a kiss goodbye! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you."

"If you wanted to kill me, you would have hunted me down long before now." Greed looked up at her, his expression surprisingly serious. "Envy ... join me. Fuck Father, fuck his plans. You know he doesn't give a damn about us." He reached a hand up to her face, and stroked her cheek, almost gently. "I've been waiting for you ..."

Envy leaned into his touch for a second, before she grabbed Greed's wrist and pushed his hand down behind his head. "You're so full of shit."

"I don't lie."

"Whatever. Besides, I know exactly what Father is. Who says I care?"

"Then why would you work for that bastard?"

"It's easy, really. I happen to hate humans more than I hate Father, or even you, and he lets me kill as many of them as I want. You forget why I was created, dear brother." Envy now stroked her hand along the side of Greed's head, though considerably less gentle than he had. "I'm the carver of Blood Crests, the Ultimate Mask. I can be anyone or anything, stir up as much trouble as I want, and _not_ be blamed. Now, why would I want to give that up?"

"Because he's using you, just like he used me, and uses all our siblings. He'll probably kill us when the Promised Day is over."

"Not before we kill over twenty-five _million_ humans! We're going to make all the little fuckers pay!" Envy laughed maniacally.

"Pay for what, exactly?" If Greed could have crossed his arms, he would have.

"For being their stupid selves, what else?"

"Or for making you so jealous of them?"

Envy gasped, paralyzed for a few seconds as she considered what her brother said. Then, her shock turned to anger. She punched the floor right by Greed's head, leaving a crater. "Don't you EVER say that again!" she snarled.

"Why not? It's the truth." Greed smirked.

"Don't you act like you're better than me. You're just as ruled by the sin you incarnate as any of us!"

"Sin? What's wrong with being greedy anyway? Why shouldn't I want it all, including you, my little green monster?"

"Because you can't have it. You can't have me, but you'll want me anyway. I'll make you want me so badly, it will drive you insane." Envy's slasher grin reappeared, as she shapeshifted away her clothes. She felt Greed hardening against her stomach, a hardening that had nothing to do with his Ultimate Shield. "Don't try to deny it – I'm the only sex partner who's ever _really_ satisfied you, and you crave it. You crave _me_."

"You forget why_ I_ was created, dear sister, or rather, sibling. I'm _Lust's_ mirror image, the shield to _her_ spear, not yours."

Envy could tell what he was trying to do – make her jealous of her sister. Her grin simply widened, as she positioned herself over him. "Nice try, really. But while you might have been made for Lust, you _chose_ Envy." She slid down onto him, any protest Greed might have had was cut off by his growl of pleasure as she squeezed herself around him.

_Oh god, it's been too long! _Envy slid down onto Greed, then back up again, feeling every centimetre of him press into her ... she had missed this feeling, had missed _him_ so much! Her siblings couldn't compare. Wrath wouldn't touch her, or any of them, since he married his human wife. Pride was completely asexual, Sloth tended to fall asleep halfway through, Gluttony, was, well, Gluttony, and Lust usually insisted on Envy taking a male form, when she so much preferred being female for sex. Disgusting humans were out of the question. No, it was Greed and Greed alone that Envy wanted, that Envy _craved_ just as much as she accused Greed of craving her.

Greed smirked up at her knowingly. "Who craves who?" He gasped, as he grabbed her hips, pulling her down onto him.

"Shut up, just shut up." Envy leaned forward and kissed Greed again, still riding him, gasping herself when he broke the kiss and took one of her nipples into his mouth, his pointed teeth raking against the sensitive skin teasingly.

Greed wrapped his arms around her, and once again, moved to flip Envy onto her back. This time, she let him. He slid out of her momentarily, positioned himself in front of her, and lifted her feet up onto his shoulders, over his head, before sliding back into her. As he slammed into Envy, she felt his hand slide across her stomach, making its way downwards. She hissed in anticipation as his fingers found her clit and started rubbing her, still slamming into her at the same time. "Oh Greed, yes! Right there, right ther ... ahhhh!" Envy couldn't help but scream as he took her over the edge, her long-overdue orgasm sending waves of pleasure up her entire body as Greed kept slamming into her, over and over, finally she felt him come inside her, his warmness spilling into her.

"Oh Greeeeeddd ..." Envy sighed, her body still pulsing as he pulled out of her.

He lay down beside her, catching his breath. "I missed you too." He pulled her against him in a hug, and they kissed again, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues, tasting each other.

Envy pulled back first. "I ... I don't want you to go again." She admitted.

"I know, Vee." Greed held her against his chest, his hand running through her spiky, green-black hair. "I know."

* * *

Lust looked up at the darkening sky. The Faire would close for the day soon, and Envy was nowhere in sight. "Gluttony, can you smell Envy?" Lust asked, doubtful that her brother could smell anything distinct among the various odours of the fairgrounds.

Gluttony tested the air. "I ... I can smell Envy, Lust, and ..." he sniffed again. "Someone else. Someone familiar ..." The short, fat homunculus waddled towards a cluster of tents on the outskirts of the faire, and stopped near one of the larger ones. "Envy?"

Lust heard a sigh from the other side of the tent's canvas. "Over here, Glut."

Lust extended one of her fingers, carved a slit into the side of the tent, and stepped through. Envy was on the other side, sitting with her back against a wall of crates, her knees hugged against her stomach ... still female, and completely naked. With Lust's entrance, she seemed to remember her lack of clothes, and shapeshifted back on her usual outfit before Lust could say anything. She was just looking at the floor, something obviously bothering her.

Lust kneeled down beside Envy, and put a hand on her shoulder. Lust remembered the last time she had seen Envy this openly upset:

_It had been six months after Greed's disappearance, a far longer time than if he had just wandered off on his own, longer than even if he had gone on a secret mission for Father. Lust had found Envy, sitting on the large rock in her room that she slept on instead of a bed, in much the same position._

"_He's gone, Lust. He's gone, and he's not coming back. It's not fair ..." _

"Envy ..." Lust pulled her little sister into a hug, one that Envy didn't push away from. Now Lust knew for sure. "You saw him again, didn't you?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah ..." Envy admitted.

Lust pushed Envy back from the hug, and looked her sister directly in the eyes. "Remember what Pride told us the first time. Don't let your emotions rule you, don't succumb to their weaknesses. We are homunculi. We're better than that."

"Yeah ... I know. Pride might be a prick, but he was right about that." Envy sighed.

"Lust? Envy? Are you okay?" Gluttony poked his head through the hole in the tent.

"I'll be fine, Glut. Don't worry." Envy got up, grabbed the tote bag from the top of a crate, and gave it to Gluttony. "Here, little bro, it's a Gluttony-sized napkin. Happy birthday."

"Aww, thanks Envy!"

"Before we go, Lust, I think I know the perfect place for our little brother to get a 'snack' for the road too." Envy gave a small smile. "Besides, I need a new plushie. A certain idiot stole my other one."

"Really Envy? You're the best! Lust, can we go get it?" Gluttony asked excitedly.

"I don't see why not." Lust said knowingly. Gluttony would be fed, and Envy would get to take out her frustrations on a deserving human. It was win win. "Lead the way, Envy."

"With pleasure," Envy gave her trademark, evil grin, and led her siblings towards the Whack-a-Seal booth.


End file.
